


Xiùlán (Huli Jing)

by TheTravelerWrites



Series: Commissions [21]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Blood, Body Shaming, Cutting, Emotional Abuse, Exophilia, F/M, Huli Jing, Hurt/Comfort, Jiuweihu, Monster Boyfriend, Nine tailed fox, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 10:05:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22481509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTravelerWrites/pseuds/TheTravelerWrites
Summary: A young woman struggling with a painful secret literally stumbles into a man who gives her a job. What will happen when he learns what she's hiding? What will happen when she learns what he's hiding?
Relationships: Female Human/Male Nine Tailed Fox Spirit
Series: Commissions [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1236809
Comments: 6
Kudos: 62





	Xiùlán (Huli Jing)

The urge was on you again. You’d just started at a new school and met a large group of your fellow classmates. Crowds full of strangers was one of your biggest triggers, and you were having a hard time fighting it, even pinching yourself hard under your jacket in an effort to suppress it. It was all you could do to get home first without stopping in a random public bathroom and handle it before you melted into a full on panic attack.

As you were hurrying, you barreled right into a man waiting for the light to change, knocking the two of you to the ground. All you could see at first was a mass of orange hair splayed about the ground around him. You banged your arm pretty hard in the fall, which eased the urge down enough that it was bearable and you were able to focus on your victim.

“Oh, my gosh, are you alright?” You asked, reaching to help him to his feet. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“No harm done,” He said as he stood, brushing the dust from clothes. “I’m fine, it’s fine,” He said. His voice had a strange lilt to it that sounded like he was always laughing a little.

“I’m really sorry.”

“No worries,” He said with a smile. “If you really wanted, you could buy me a coffee to make it up.”

You laughed. Now that the urge was appeased, you were suddenly free to do as you wanted. And with his gold-oak toned skin and black eyes, not to mention all that beautiful ginger hair, he was certainly handsome. “Sure. Can we find a cafe that’s not too crowded? I don’t do well surrounded by lots of strangers.”

“Not a problem,” He said. “I own a coffee shop. I can close it whenever I like.”

You huffed another laugh. “That’s convenient.” You started walking alongside him at a comfortable pace as he led you to his shop.

“I was actually out picking up new syrups,” He said, holding up a paper bag with a handle. “Come on, I’ll make you something special. You look like you could use a pick-me-up.”

“That’s awfully nice for a person who just made you eat the pavement,” You said.

“Eh, it’s good for me to hit the ground every once in a while. Keeps my ego in check. Otherwise, I become a real animal to deal with. Ask my brothers.”

“You have brothers?”

“Oh, yes, many. It’s sort of a tradition in our family to have lots of children.”

“Not in mine,” You said, but you stopped yourself. Talking about your family was dangerous territory.

“So, can I ask the name of my humbler?” He said with a sly grin.

You told him your name. “What’s yours?”

“Xiùlán,” He said. “Traditional, I know. My family is big on traditions.”

“I can see that,” you said. “It’s not a bad thing. Tradition can provide stability sometimes. Stability is a nice thing to have.”

“That’s an interesting take on it,” He mused. “Ah, here we are.”

You looked up and saw a large cliffstone building with a very fancy sign above the door that said _Yi Cafe_.

“It’s pretty,” You said, admiring the color scheme. It was red and gold with blue and jade accents here and there.

“Thanks,” He said brightly. “Me and two of my brothers run it.” He opened the door and held it for you. You smiled and went inside.

The interior smelled amazing. On the right side of the counter, there were five rotating glass racks, eight canisters to a rack, where you could pick and blend your own coffee beans. On the left, there was the same setup, except it was tea leaves instead of coffee. In front of the counter was a glass case with pastries and sweets. You could also smell ham roasting in the back.

“Whoa,” You said. “I feel like I’m losing money just standing in this place.”

He laughed. “Thanks! That’s quite a compliment.”

There was a young man behind the counter, maybe seventeen in age, that looked a lot like Xiùlán, though he was shorter, more gangling, and his hair wasn’t quite as long.

“Yongnián,” Xiùlán called to the kid. “_Guanmén yi hui. Women youyi wèi tèbié de kèrén. Bìng dài chu yùhé de hùnhéwù. Wo rènwéi ta xuyào._”

“_Hao de. Gei wo ji fenzhong_,” the boy replied and hustled into the back room. Xiùlán flipped the open sign to “closed.”

“That’s my younger brother, Yongnián,” He said. “He’s here most of the time, although he’ll be going away to college in a few months. Shan and I are the owners, so I suppose we’ll have to hire some help once he goes.”

You laughed sardonically. “I worked coffee shops all through high school. If your taking applications, I could use an after school job. I just started college myself, but I’ll only be in classes in the mornings.”

“Oh, yeah?” He said, still smiling. “Well, how serendipitous. Hey, Yong! You’ve finally got yourself an underling!”

“No kidding?” He said with a wide grin identical to his brother’s. “Sweet! I’m sick of being the lowest rung on the ladder. Here you go, miss.” He handed you your coffee in a cut bamboo cup. The cup was naturally insulated and cool to the touch, despite the coffee steaming inside it.

“Whoa, cool,” You said, marveling at it. “But I haven’t ordered anything yet.”

“Trust me, I think you’ll like it,” Xiùlán said.

“How do I know you haven’t roofied it or something,” You asked skeptically.

“Well, that would be bad for business, wouldn’t it?” He joked. “Here,” He held out his hand for the cup and you gave it over. He took a sip and gulped loudly. He waited a moment with a raised eyebrow, and after he didn’t drop dead, he handed it back. “Satisfied?”

You snorted and took a sip. It was nutty and had a bit of clove spice in it. It was probably the best cup of coffee you’d had in your life. You felt warmth and wellness flood every corner of your body.

“It’s delicious,” You said. “Wow. You guys do good work.”

“I’m glad you like it,” He said, still smiling. “Now, how about we sit down and discuss your new job, eh?”

You started work there a week later. You loved it. The coffee was amazing, the regular clientele was charming, and you got as much free coffee as you wanted. It was the perfect de-stress from school. You hadn’t felt the urge since you started working there.

Except for one day. One day when an angry customer caught you when you were really off your game a few months later. Class ran late, so you ended up getting to work twenty five minutes after your shift had started. You dropped a customer’s order and crashed into Yong, nearly dumping an entire tray of pastries on accident.

Then… _she _came in. A Karen if you ever saw one. First, she said her coffee was too sweet, then too strong, then she accused you of burning the coffee of purpose to spite her, when the coffee was fine. She finally started yelling at you, telling you how stupid you were and demanding she speak to the manager.

“I’ll handle this, don’t worry,” Xiùlán said. You nodded, and while he dealt with her, you escaped into the bathroom, making sure to lock the door.

You kept a razor in your wallet for extreme emergencies. You took it out of your back pocket, pulled down your pants, and sat down on the toilet lid. Your hands were shaking as you took it out and removed the paper covering. You took a deep, shuddering breath before pressing the blade lightly to your skin and drawing a line in your thigh, over and over. The blood welled up immediately and the sting send a tingle into your brain, easing the stress and anxiety. Six cuts was enough.

You bent almost double, leaning on one arm, breathing heavily and sweating. You jumped at the knock at the door.

“You okay in there?” Xiùlán asked. There was clear concern on his voice.

“Yeah, I’ll be right out!” You called back, willing your heart to slow. You cleaned the blood off of your leg and got the bleeding to stop as best you could. You’d gotten pretty good at hiding it, so you had bandaged in your pocket for just this sort of thing. Cleaned and patched up, you did up your pants and wiped your face, making sure that your makeup wasn’t running in the mirror before unlocking the door.

Xiùlán was still standing there. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” You said. “I just needed a moment.”

His jaw worked. He seemed angry. “There’s blood on your shirt.”

You looked down and saw a spot of blood on the hem of your t-shirt. Shit. You were usually so good about making sure it didn’t spread. It was definitely an off day.

“Wear an apron,” He said brusquely, thrusting one into your hands. “If you have to do that, don’t do it here. You’ll contaminate everything.”

“Yes, sir,” You said in a small voice, not meeting his eye. He walked off silently.

The atmosphere in the cafe was strained after that. Xiùlán was quiet, only speaking to you when you asked him something, and otherwise ignoring you. He let you off your shift early and you left. For once, you were happy to leave.

When you got home, you cried. You cried for a very long time. Getting caught out like that was awful, and you were scared that your working life would change. You hated the thought. The cafe was your refuge, the place you went to shelter yourself from the stress of school and life in general. The idea that you might lose that made you feel like cutting again.

You were also scared of your relationship with Xiùlán changing. The two of you had gotten close while working together, even rather flirty. Now that he knew your secret, he was angry and disgusted with you. How could you ever face him again?

A knock at your door sounded, but you ignored it. You weren’t in the mood for visitors. You’d just had a shower and pulled on the shirt, not really caring about what it was, so you weren’t exactly dressed for company anyway.

It sounded again, rather insistently. You groaned and stood, flinging open the door.

Xiùlán stood there with a take out bag in his hand and a contrite look on his face.

“Hey,” He said slowly. “Can I come in?”

You considered it. Your hair was a mess and your face was red and swollen from crying. You were wearing a night shirt and socks. You certainly didn’t look your best, but his opinion of you was probably already so low, you didn’t think it could be affected farther by your current appearance.

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“I came to apologize,” He said as he stepped into the apartment. “I brought a peace offering.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” You said tiredly. “You were right, I could have contaminated things in the store. That would have hurt your business.”

He waved his hand, on which a bandage was wrapped around his pinky finger. “I cut myself all the time, it happens. As long as I clean properly before continuing work, it’s not a huge issue. It wasn’t the blood that set me off, honestly.” He sighed. “I… I don’t understand why you do it, and that scares me. When I get scared, I… I can be a little bit of an asshole. I’m sorry. If… If it’s okay… Can we talk about it?”

“I don’t know,” You said uncertainly. “I don’t really talk about this to anyone, not even friends. I think you’re the only person who figured it out.”

“Well, how about a trade?” He offered, looking kind of nervous. “If you tell me about it, I’ll tell you a secret in return. I promise it’s a secret equal to whatever you tell me.”

You doubted that, but asked, “What’s for dinner?”

He smiled and began setting out the boxes of Italian pasta. You went to get dishes and drinks.

“It’s…” You said as the two of you sat down at the table. “It’s something I started when I was about fourteen. My parents… have… high standards when it comes to how people look, especially me. They’ve always expected me to look a certain way, act a certain way. My mom was still picking out my clothes when I was seventeen. I had no say in the matter. And I wasn’t allowed to get a job or buy my own clothes.

“When I was six, I was two pounds over the average standard weight for my age. I wasn’t even overweight, I was just two pounds above average. My mom put me on my first diet at age six. They were constantly comparing me to other girls my age, telling me how fat I was in comparison, how plain, how unappealing. My hair wasn’t shiny enough, my eyes weren’t big enough, my teeth weren’t white enough. That’s all they cared about. They didn’t want a daughter, they wanted a doll. I wasn’t what they wanted. The pressure was so intense that I felt like I was suffocating.”

“That sounds terrible,” He said, grimacing.

“It was. So… I started… cutting. It was so strange, it was like I was opening myself up and the pressure I was feeling was exiting my body through it. For a few moments, the weight was gone and I could breathe. It got better when I moved out, but there are still things that trigger it. Large crowds, being yelled at, that kind of thing. The cafe was actually helping. Today was the first time in months.”

“Really? He asked, a little bit of his usual smile on his face.

“Yeah,” You replied. “I really love it there.”

“Good. I’m glad. We like having you there.” He leaned forward on his elbows. “Are you getting help? Like, therapy or counseling?”

You shook your head. “I can’t afford it.”

“I could give you a raise,” He offered.

“You don’t need to do that,” You told him. “I do want to see someone about it, but I’ll do when I’m ready.”

“I guess,” He said, a frown on his face. “Just… in the future, if you feel like you need to, call me first. Let me try to help before you do it. I don’t know what I’ll be able to do, but at least I can try. Promise me you will.”

“Okay, I promise. So,” You said. “I told you my thing. What’s your secret?”

He sighed heavily. “I did promise, didn’t I?” He winced. “You promise you won’t freak out?”

“I promise.”

He nodded and stood up. And began undressing.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” You said, covering your eyes.

“I have to do this first!” He said. “Otherwise I get stuck in my clothes! Keep your eyes closed, if it bothers you.”

Feeling really uneasy, you kept your hand over your eyes and waited. You heard as his clothes fell to the ground with a muffled _whoof_ and then heard silence. As you were waiting, you felt something cold and wet touch your knee. You yelped and shoved back in the seat where you were sitting, the chair screeching backward.

The wet thing was a dainty black nose attached to the largest red fox you’d ever seen in your life. It was the size of an Irish wolfhound, its ears level with your chest, with nine fluffy tails splayed out behind it.

You reached out a tentative hand. “Xiùlán?” You asked in disbelief.

He yipped quietly and leaned into your hand, nuzzling in such a way as a dog might to beg for pets. You scratched his ears and his eyes closed in pleasure.

He then began to change again. His fur receded into his skin and he stood up on his hind legs, which stayed the same. His upper half regained it’s human form, with the exception of his ears, which were still furry and sat on the top of his head. His tails remained, as did his clawed feet. His hair cascaded down his body, a curtain of ginger.

From the waist up, he was human. From the waist down, he was fox.

“I’m a Jiuweihu,” He said. “We’re also called Huli Jing or Nine Tailed Foxes. There are many types of us all over the world, and we can be both good or evil. My family are healers. Most of my brothers are doctors, actually.” He laughed. “I don’t have the patience for that, so I opened the coffee shop instead. We weave our magic into the coffee so that it helps people feel better, more at ease, and relieve minor injuries. My doctor brothers fix big problems, Shan and I fix the little ones.”

“That must be why I always feel so good after drinking your coffee,” You said with a smile. “No wonder I haven’t had an episode until today. It’s like a holistic Prozac.” You stood up and studied him, up and down. He seemed nervous under your scrutiny but he didn’t shy away.

“I just have one question,” You said finally.

“Which is?” He asked, wincing slightly.

“Can I _please_ touch your ears?” You asked.

He laughed out loud, relieved. “Of course you can. You can touch them all you like.”

He bent his head and you reached up, feeling the soft fur with your fingertips. He closed his eyes again like he had when he was full fox. You thought he’d be purring if he could.

You felt so comfortable now, with him this close. His face was bent and his lips were pursed. You only had to bridge the gap of just a few inches to kiss him. So you did.

He didn’t pull away; he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in tightly. His skin was smooth and silky, and you couldn’t resist petting down his chest.

“Oh, good,” He said when the two of you parted, panting. “I was afraid my feelings were one sided.”

“I flirt with you all the time, you dingus,” You said, laughing.

“Well, sure, but I figured you were just angling for free sweets,” He teased.

You snickered. “Come on.”

You pulled him toward your bedroom and shut the door behind you, leaving his clothes on the kitchen floor. He pulled off your nightshirt and let it drop, seemingly pleased that you were wearing nothing underneath it. He ran his hands down your breasts and sides, picking you up and wrapping your legs around his waist as he made his way to the bed. You were still poised on him as he got on the bed on his knees, laying you down carefully.

He kissed your neck and breasts, reaching down to open your legs, except to stop momentarily when he felt the bandage and scars that criss-crossed over your thighs. He continued without comment, and you were grateful. Now was not the time to ruin the mood. It had been a while since your last relationship and you were more than ready for this.

He pushed your legs up toward your chest and moved downward, licking a broad strip upward from the bottom to top. You whimpered and wiggled underneath him, but his firm grip kept you in place. He suctioned his mouth around your clit, the tip of his tongue flicking over it rapidly, and you thought you were going to lift off the bed.

“Don’t pass out on me,” He said, looking up at you with a sinister grin. “We’ve got all night.”

“Yes, sir,” You said as he rose up. His cock was erect and emerging from a sheath between his legs. He stroked it three times before pressing it to your entrance. Your whole body tensed as he entered you, seating himself fully inside you and stopping for a moment so that he could bend over you and kiss your lips. He began to thrust, still kissing you. He kneaded your breasts and rolled your nipples with the palms of his hands.

His hair fell all around you, blocking out the sight of everything except his face and body, so it was as if the two of you existed in a place outside of normal space and time. A place of magic.

“_Harder,_” You breathed, clutching his back, digging your fingers in. He obeyed, snapping his body against yours. He grunted and sighed, responding to the noises you made in return. He whispered to you in Mandarin, and though you wish you could understand the words, your body seemed to know it and reacted accordingly. Warmth spread through you, centering on where the two of you were connected. The swelling of pleasure came like waves, building stronger each time the crest of it crashed into your body. Your muscles locked up and your toes curled involuntarily.

He wedged his arms under you and gripped onto your shoulders, using them as leverage to pull himself harder into your body. The friction was incredible and you cried out as the feeling of ecstasy smashed into you like a freight train. You felt your fingernails digging into the skin of his back, but he didn’t seem to mind it. His breath brushed your neck as he moaned brokenly into your ear. You felt him release inside you, shuddering with each jerk of his hips.

Both of you were out of breath and sweating as he finally slowed to a stop.

“You have to teach me Mandarin,” You gasped

He laughed. “That would ruin the mystery,” He teased.

By the end of the week, Xiùlán had you set up with a psychiatrist; another of his siblings, as it turned out. Chenyin offered to give you sessions on a sliding scale, as in he would base the cost of your therapy on your income. He started you on a mild medication to be adjusted over the next few months until it would be most effective, and gave you a list of resources online and support groups in your area. You cried and thanked them both for their kindness.

Despite the fact that you were dating the boss, you continued to work at the coffee shop. Now that the cat was out of the bag, so to speak, he and his brothers were comfortable in their true forms around you. It made you feel special that you were one of the few humans who knew about them.

As you were closing up one night with Xiùlán, he pulled you close and kissed you for a long time.

When you pulled back you asked, “What was that for?”

“Nothing,” He said with is usual smile. “You’ve just been doing very well these past weeks. I’m very proud of you.”

You smiled back. “I’m proud of me, too.”

* * *

**There is help. Don’t be afraid to reach out.** ****

[Crisis Text Hotline: Self-Harm](https://www.crisistextline.org/selfharm)

The Trevor Project Lifeline: Text/Call/Chat

[Self-Injury Outreach & Support](http://sioutreach.org/)

[National Alliance of Mental Health: Find Support](https://www.nami.org/Find-Support)

[TWLoHA: Find Free or Affordable Resources](https://twloha.com/find-help/help-by-topic/self-injury/)

[Find Counceling Through Theravive](https://www.theravive.com/)

[Self-Harm UK](https://www.selfharm.co.uk/)

[Lifeline Australia](https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/topics/self-harm)


End file.
